Funny Birthday Messages

I hired a private investigator because things just weren't adding up. After a huge bill he got to the bottom of things. So no more lies. You ain't seen 29 in at least a decade hon!

Little Susie. For your special day I hope you get twinkly stars, fluffy bears, a pink pony and... oh wait. Wrong card. Happy birthday boss!

Happy birthday from my cat. He really likes you. Then again what does he know. He lays around licking his booty all day!

So you're 21 again? Well at least you're recycling!

Let's race for the cake.

May your day be filled with family, friends, and one hot date!

Get crazy and wild on your birthday. You know, rent an R-rated movie, eat extra butter popcorn and stay up past nine!

Now that you're an adult I wanted to share the deepest wisdom I've discovered about birthdays: It's best to hide the cake in the back of the fridge.

It's a sin for you to look so good at insert age. Ohhhh. Wrong card. I meant to say, Dear friend, many blessings on this most cherished of days. May you have many more wonderful years filled with life experiences that are both meaningful and .... I'm not digging myself out of this one am I? All right. The truth. You're one sexy mama!

You're queen/king for a day, so dance like no one's watching!

Don't cry on your birthday. It'll just give you more wrinkles.

Never trust anybody over 16. I mean 25!