Funny Birthday Card Messages

You can get away with anything on your birthday. Just try to leave me out of it!

Birthdays are special because it's the one day of the year people give you useless gifts, weird cards and a smack on the bum for each year you've lived. Enjoy your moment of glory! Happy B-day.

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney and Driving Miss Daisy. Happy birthday babe!

Thanks for the invite. Now, where's the cake and ice cream?

Did you think I'd make you a cake, mow the lawn, and buy you a flat screen, all in those strappy high heels of mine? Keep dreaming those big birthday dreams stud.

Ancient Chinese Proverb: "May you live to be toothless and bald." O.K. I made that one up, but you get the point. Happy Birthday!

Another birthday, another candle, another broad to hot to handle!

With age comes grace and wisdom. Oh, let's skip the lies.

From one stud to another. Happy birthday!

Get em Tiger. Go show that cake who's the boss!

If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life. Then lets get wasted together and have the time of our lives.

Some cultures respect and revere their elders. So have an amazing birthday, oh great one!