Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Funny 50th birthday quotes for toasts, roasts, speeches or messages in cards. Hey, they only turn 50 once! Celebrate in big style with these fun and hilarious sayings.

And of course, since it's a fiftieth birthday we had to scrounge up fifty quotes to celebrate! Enjoy...

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Anon
"50 isn't old if you're a tree."

Anon
"For my midlife crisis I've decided to banish the word senior discount from my vocabluary."

Anon
"Who said 50 is old? From the look of things you're deteriorating nicely!"

Anon
"Welcome to the cougar club."

Anon
"At 50 an all-nighter means not getting up to pee."

Anon
"Half a century vintage masterpiece."

Anon
"Celebrating my 29th for the 21st time."

Anon
"Fifty. Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult."

Anon
"For sale. 50 year old. Used parts. Needs work."

Anon
"50 and my mind's like a steel watchamacallit."

Joan Rivers
"Looking 50 is great if you're 60."

Alan Beasdale
"I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry."

Bette Davis
"Here we are, half century!"

Adaptation of G. Weliacher
"One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop. At fifty you better stock up on both!"

Lucille Ball
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

Chinese Proverb
"The woman who shares her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain."

Bob Hope
"Middle Age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

Anon
"Enjoy fifty. It means your king of the hill!".

Anon Adapation
"Enjoy fifty. It means your king of the hill! It's next year you got to watch out for, when you start rolling down!

Bette Davis
"Old age is no place for sissies."

Robert Frost
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."

Victor Hugo
"40 is the old age of youth. 50 is the youth of old age."

T.S. Eliot
"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do more, and you are not yet decrepit enough to turn them down."

Jim Carey
"Here's a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren't doing what you love, then what's the point?"

Anon
"50 is soooo the new 30! Happy Birthday!"

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

We promised fifty. This was 25. Check out the rest of the
funny 50th birthday sayings and quotes.