Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings and Quotes

Fifty Funny 50th birthday sayings and quotes for toasts, roasts, speeches or messages in cards. You'll find the right one in this list. Hey, they're only going to turn fifty once! Celebrate and laugh with these funny phrases and quotes.

50th Birthday Sayings and Quotes

Anon
"18,263 days old. But who's counting?"

Anon
"Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus tax."

Anon
"I always wondered what the top of the hill would look like. Let me tell you. The travel brochures lied!"

Anon
"God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference."

Anon
"At fifty you're like a fine wine that's gone bad."

Samantha Turner
"How does it feel to be an offical antique? Happy fiftieth!"

Erica Jong
"At fifty the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house."

Red Skelton
"You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist."

Gypsy Rose Lee on Turning 50
"I have everything now I had twenty years ago. Except now it's all lower."

Katherine Hepburn
"If you survive long enough, you are revered, rather like an old building."

Anon
"50. Damn you look good!"

Anon
"Welcome to the official old farts club."

Anon
"Now that I'm 50 I take life with a grain of salt... and a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila."

Anon
"At my age getting lucky means finding my car in the parking lot."

Anon
"Now that you're 49 and 3/4 years old, fifty is the new f word."

Anon
"I'd rather be fifty than pregnant."

Anon
"I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes."

Anon
"You're not fifty. You're 21 with 29 years of experience!"

Anon
"He's 50 now. Lock up your grandmas!"

Anon
"Turning fifty. Looking thirty. Feeling twenty."

Bill Clinton
"Turning 50 gives me more yesterdays than tomorrows."

Maurice Chevalier
"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."

Anon
"You'll know when you're 50. It will be readily apparent because sex will only happen if it's written on your to-do list!"

Madonna
"I just see it as another excuse to have a birthday party."

Jack Benny
"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

50th Birthday Sayings

We've got more! This was 25 of our promised 50. Check out the rest of these:
funny 50th birthday quotes and sayings.